Over the past few days I’ve been keeping a list of all the
takeaways I want to integrate into my own life from Japan: wear a mask so you
don’t get other people sick, pack out your own trash, eat more Japanese food, research
brail imbedded sidewalks on crosswalks and train depots, use more fast/clean/efficient
public transportation, bring my own paper towel for bathrooms….The list fills
an entire page in my journal. Even in
our brief stay, I have learned a lot from the Japanese. The number one item on
that list, by far, is the Japanese Toto toilet. From heated seats, to the bidet
function (otherwise known as “squirty butt” by our own Guthrie Jude
Johnson-Leck), drying function, pleasant music to cover up potential
“unpleasant sounds,” small or heavy flush function, the Japanese really know
how to take a shit.
Visiting Japan as a tourist is truly a treat. There are a
million things to see and do. I am
already wishing we had more time to explore.
We took in a whirlwind of “peak experiences” during our brief stay. We enjoyed a fabulous hike up Mt. Inari in
Kyoto with our favorite wingnut, Ashley Withington, and her boo, Jeff. Thirteen
thousand vermillion gates cradled our path to the top, the most visited Shinto
temple in Japan. The next morning, we spotted a geisha wandering the streets of
Gion. Everything from her kimono to the way she held her immaculate umbrella
was lovely. We lucked out and took in the Wakakusa Yamayaka festival in Nara,
complete with the best fireworks of my life (I’m not kidding… these things
exploded and turned into the silhouette of a deer, the town mascot) and the
lighting of a mountain on fire. Nara is fabulous even without the festival,
complete with pigmy deer you can feed by hand and the stunning Todai-ji
Buddhist temple. We tooled around Osaka and hit Wally’s number one destination:
The Pokémon Center. I’m not much for shopping, but I have to admit, it was
pretty awesome. On a whim, we rolled into the CUPNOODLES museum and found it to
be a hidden gem. For 300 JNY ($3) you can tour the museum and make your own
signature CUPNOODLES, decorate the cup, pick your own seasoning and
ingredients, and leave with a factory sealed container and a little plastic
blow-up purse for hauling your noodles. We spent our last day taking in a
breathtaking view of Kobe and Osaka from the top of the cable car at Mount
Rokko.
This is only our second port and I can already sense panic
creeping in about returning to “real life.” Every day here is laced with
discovery. I honestly don’t know how one returns to the life of making lunches
before bed and driving a minivan 3 hours a day after an experience like this. I
am trying to remind myself to BREATHE. Just stay in the moment and be grateful.
Grateful. Grateful. We are sooooo lucky.
I have found it difficult to parent in Japan. The environment
is immaculately clean. The people are quiet and kind and respectful. Trains
filled with hundreds of people are silent. SILENT. It’s a culture rooted in the
harmony of group, and it’s a stark contrast to our unruly and self-centered
kids. Sometimes I wish the Japanese were less “good” so I wouldn’t feel like
such an asshole. Every day I repeat to the mini J-Ls “keep your feet off the
cushions,” and “look where you are going when you walk.” My feedback is
relentless and constant. Our kids are sticky, and loud, sitting on the ground,
and asking for snacks every five seconds. I try to remind myself that that
traveling around the world with three kids is not easy. This is to be expected.
And, I want them to be better…to be perfect….to be more Japanese even though
they were socialized in a child-centric home in the United States.
On the subject of children, Japan doesn’t have enough of
them. Japan has the oldest life expectancy of any country on earth – 85.5
years, and more centarians than any country, too. The birth rate is so low that
growth rate is well below replacement levels.
In a few decades, the population of Japan will be smaller by millions
and the demographics of the country will be dominated by the elderly. The
Japanese government is worried about this, and has offered family incentives
and other measures to try to encourage babies. But it’s not working. We learned on the ship that some of this has
to do with women pushing back on gender roles.
Fewer women are choosing to get married. Fewer choosing to have tiny
humans. Everywhere we go, I look for kids. I see some, but not many (certainly
not enough to account for the number of humans total I see). When I do, it’s
usually a mom. With ONE child. I see a
few playgrounds. Small. Tiny patches of
brown open space with a slide and a swing. I quietly think, “it would be hard
to be a mom in Japan.”
Japan is a very crowded country. Japan is about the same
size as California but 70% mountainous, so people only live in about 30% of the
country, mostly in urban areas. In the U.S., there are an average of 85 people
per square mile. In Japan: 2500. There are people EVERYWHERE. It is my most
profound take-away of our visit. Japan=people, People, PEOPLE! While here, I
regularly think about our fabulous River Rock green space with sidewalk loop to
scotter/ripstick/bike, a space to play volleyball, throw a ball for a puggle,
and for our kids to burn off some of their energy in a socially acceptable
manner. I think about walking the dog through a nearby park, with trees and
fresh air, and a river nearby. I think about how I start my day every day in
America with about 45 minutes outside, all alone with my dog, something that
would be nearly impossible in Japan. I love
Japan, and I am grateful for this truth of my home.
I know we only scratched the surface here. I want more
time. I want more noodles and Japanese
TV and giggling with google Translate English/Japanese. I want more Japanese train stations and 7-11
(god bless ‘em, they are AMAZING). I want more information about minority
groups in Japan, and how it is to be a non-Japanese resident here. I want more
about the differences between “rice culture” and “wheat culture” and how
farming differences lead to cultural differences. I want to reread Memoirs
of a Geisha and wander more in Gion. It’s so U.S. American of me. I want
more. For now, I make lists in my journal of things to remember, to research,
and to revisit.
A logistical note: Our original itinerary had us porting in
Shanghai from January 31-February 5. Due to Corona virus, that of course is no
longer in the cards. We are disappointed
to miss out on China, but will enjoy an extended port in Vietnam from February
4 – February 15. We have a bit of regrouping to do regarding our plans, but it
is good practice for us to exercise the F word: flexibility, flexibility,
flexibility.
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