22 Days at Sea

1.23.2020

Well, for the last 23 days of my life, we have been on a ship crossing the Pacific for the last 22 days. Time is such a strange experience on this voyage.  It is one of the big surprises for me.  The last 23 days feel like an eternity, and concurrently feel like the blink of an eye.  It is wild to me how quickly humans can adjust to new routines and lifestyles. As a family, we have established a ship rhythm consisting of “school” for the kids, “work” for Chris and I, meals at the dining halls, family time in the afternoon, and lots of activities and friend time in the evenings. We’ve crossed something like 8 time zones, getting an extra hour of sleep every time we cross into a new time zone.  For the record, I can not imagine the voyages that travel East (fall voyages) and LOSE an hour every time a time zone is crossed. It would be really difficult for me.

 Ship life has been tiring for me.  It probably is a combination of the seasick medication that I use religiously (So far Guthrie and I are only ones in the J-L family that have avoided puking so I count it as a win), the constant rocking and recalibration required by the brain to deal with constant movement, and the fact that in work and in life I am not on “autopilot” like I am at home.  I am constantly learning new names, gaining new experiences, and taking in new information. It’s a lot of work.  Many people on the ship have articulated this as a common experience—fatigue.  One day I put Guthrie to sleep in the afternoon around 2pm. He was still sleeping at 6pm. We woke him for dinner. He ate in about 15 minutes and fell asleep in my arms at 6:30pm and slept through the night.

My time during the day is spent differently than in the U.S.  I have more time to exercise, journal and reflect, learn and read, and socialize.  I have more time with the kids.  I work A LOT less (like by multiple hours each day) than I do in the U.S.  I’m kind of coming to the conclusion that I have a pretty hefty work volume at home 😊. Domestic task time is way down.  Driving time is obviously way down.  Pug time is way down ☹. The kids are also able to meet many of their basic needs without our help, creating more space for quality time or time for them to spend with friends. We are in a pretty good, sustainable rhythm.

I’ve overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude for the personal growth and learning I am taking away from this experience. In the past few days, we’ve focused on Japan.  Staff and faculty who have spent decades (or their whole life) living , studying, and working in Japan are helping to situate the country and culture in historical and social context via engaging lectures and presentations. Carefully selected readings have illuminated current challenges in Japan – challenges of leadership, demographics, and economy. I am certain that this information will enhance our in-country experience.  What a gift to have the best and brightest usher us to this experience. I am loving it. I feel like a student EVERY SINGLE DAY on the voyage. 

As a group, I feel as if the ship is bumping up against the “storming” phase of community. There are definitely “issues” that are coming up in terms of student conduct, the inclusiveness of the community, and other interpersonal rifts. I personally got my ass handed to me by a group of Life-Long Learners two days ago in a presentation on inclusive language.  Ouch. It was rough. By the end of the presentation we asked for each person to share a takeaway from the conversation.  One life-long-learner responded with “You can’t say anything without offending people so I’m just going to stop talking.” Sigh. There’s some drama happening with the teenage girls on the ship that’s bleeding out to the parent group (Rigley is not involved but we are friends with many of the adults and kids who are). There are students that feel that the shipboard community is deeply rooted in systems of Whiteness and other forms of oppression.  None of this, in my opinion, is outside what might be expected in a community of 600 people of diverse backgrounds on a ship together for 23 days.  At the same time, it does generate stress and I can see it building in the environment around me. 

As far as work is concerned, I am loving my time in with the students. I am working with a great group in both classes (Leadership class and Service-Learning Class). We’ve been focusing on topics such as: implicit bias, identity, PANing, service-learning philosophy, White savior complex, cycle of socialization, etc. Thanks to all of my colleagues at CSU who helped me come up with the curriculum for the courses! As an added bonus, I get to interact with the students at meals and in other environments (pool deck, exercise room, etc.) on the ship.  It has created a really cool vibe and strong communal environment. 

One tradition of Semester at Sea is the extended family program.  Our family gets assigned to 7 students and our job is to take them in as part of our family unit. We have met with our extended family twice so far.  They are really fun and it is a treat to run around the ship and surprise them with post it notes on their doors and meals together.  Last night we celebrated a birthday in our extended family.  It felt intimate and sweet.  This program also gives our kids an opportunity to generate more relationships with the college students on the voyage. 

As for the kids…They are all three doing well. Rig seems to have aged about 10 years in the last 23 days. She’s so independent. I’m really proud of how she’s showed up on the voyage so far.  I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from people about what a great friend she is to the other kids. She’s loving her roommates, and has started a small business (bracelet making) called the Tipsy Diver with the 10-13 year old girls.  Wally has bonded with the nerdy boys on the voyage and is almost always off with friends or on the phone (so damn funny) trying to meet up with his crew.  I’ve always kind of thought of him as our most introverted kid but on the ship he is ALWAYS with others (and seems to like it). He’s playing lots of Dungeons and Dragons and Pokémon.  He figured out which kids have Nintendo switch and he is lobbying pretty hard for us to buy him one. We made this part of a homework assignment for him. He’s going to write a persuasive essay on why he should get a Nintendo switch. Guthrie, of course, demands the most attention. He’s slower to warm up to people, but once he does, he globs on like a starfish.  His sleep seems to be affected the most by the time changes and he has been sleeping more in general (but with many wake ups). 

There are a million student groups and activities on the ship. Last night was the talent show and it was fabulous! Two nights ago, was a showing of some music videos that the video club made. It was so fun and entertaining.  I am showing up for the meetings of the Diversity and Inclusion student group which is headed up by a student in my leadership class.  I am so impressed by their conversation and how they are making meaning of their identities in this context.  It’s powerful stuff. 

We get to Kobe, Japan, tomorrow, our first multi-day port.  We will be meeting my favorite wingnut, Ashley Withington, and exploring Kyoto and Osaka. We are so lucky.  Thinking of home and sending a big Konichiwa to all of you!

Hugs, JJJ

P.S. I have many pictures but the internet is basically nonexistent so they are hard to upload.